


Why Do Fools Fall In Love?

by citra_talugmai



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 11:26:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20506193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citra_talugmai/pseuds/citra_talugmai
Summary: Joining the Brotherhood is a purely practical decision for Lillian Harper. She needs access to the Institute and the Brotherhood have the resources to make that happen. Catching feelings for a certain Paladin was NOT part of the plan. But when does life ever go to plan?





	Why Do Fools Fall In Love?

**Author's Note:**

> A world in which there are monsters, and ghosts, and things that want to steal your heart is a world in which there are angels and dreams, and a world in which there is hope.   
\- Neil Gaiman.

Lillian tossed and turned on the bunk. The mattress felt like solid concrete beneath her. With the creaks and groans made by the hulking metal of the Prydwen and the soft snores of the Brotherhood soldiers surrounding her, sleep had thus far evaded her. Once again, she tried to will herself into unconsciousness. Even just to doze would be a relief, but each time she closed her eyes she saw it.  
_A man, not facing her, half-hidden by shadow. Gun cocked.  
“Let the boy go. I’m only gonna tell you once.”  
Nate struggling, desperately holding onto their son. The hazmat suit pulling at Shaun as he cries out. God… the crying. Every instinct in her body screamed at her to destroy the glass and save her little boy.  
“I’m not giving you Shaun!”  
**Blam**.  
Someone lets out an ungodly scream that vibrates inside her chest. Nate’s body falling against the cryo pod.   
The man turns and faces her pod, tapping the glass with the butt of his pistol.  
“At least we still have the backup.”  
_The image of Kellogg was burned into her retinas; a face she would never forget for the rest of her days. She’d hunted the bastard down with Nick and Dogmeat, but the moment she’d come face to face with the cunt, it all became a blur. She knew he’d given Shaun to the Institute and she knew she’d killed him for it. But when she tried to recall the details she came up blank. Irony would have it that she couldn’t even enjoy the death of the man that ruined her life. Lillian looked at her wrist, her Pipboy flickered to life as she twisted a dial.   
_3:02 AM_  
Lillian sighed, even if she did sleep now it wouldn’t help. Despite the Brotherhood’s medieval ranks, it was obvious they were the remnants of the United States military and one thing that hadn’t been lost was the five AM starts. Moving slowly to avoid the worst of her squeaking bed, Lillian pushed herself off the bunk. She grabbed a leather jacket - that was in surprisingly good condition considering it was over two hundred years old and she’d found in a decaying department store - and pulled it on as she walked through the halls of the Prydwen. She found her way to the dimly lit bathrooms. A shared space between men and women, there was no room for segregated toilets.   
Lillian splashed cold water on her face. God, what she wouldn’t give for a tube of concealer. At least then she could hide her exhaustion. Her mother would have been disappointed. Not that it mattered; she supposed, her mother was long dead and that kind of expected presentability was gone with her. Maybe it was for the best. The people of the Commonwealth felt different to the ones she knew two centuries ago. They felt more raw, more real. The violence was despicable, but at least it was honest.   
Lillian dragged herself away from the bathroom, she didn’t really feel better, just a more awake kind of shit. Earlier in the day, she’d discovered a door that led to a small balcony. It presumably had some kind of defensive purpose, but beyond that Lillian had no idea. For now, however, it seemed like a good spot to be blasted with fresh air and shake off the darkness that threatened to take hold of her mind every time she closed her eyes. She pushed open the door only to face the back of a man. He was tall and muscular, dark hair tousled by the wind. It wasn’t much of a description, it could have been half the men in the Brotherhood.  
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realise anyone was out here-”  
The man turned to face her.  
“Paladin!?”  
Lillian froze, hand still curled around the half-open door. She hadn’t expected anyone to be out here, let alone Paladin _Danse_.   
“Knight Harper,” he said softly, “Is everything okay?”  
“I, uh…” Lillian opened and closed her mouth a few times, waiting for an excuse to be stammered out, but nothing came.   
Eventually, she sighed, “Not really, no.”  
Danse nodded and motioned for her to join him against the railing. After a moment’s hesitation Lillian joined him. The door swung closed with a loud screech that made Lillian cringe. Danse didn’t say anything. He simply stared out across the Commonwealth, lost in whatever thoughts plagued him. Lillian followed his gaze. It was so different from the Boston she knew.   
_“The Commonwealth looks different from up here, doesn’t it? It never ceases to amaze me how drastically your perception of the battlefield changes from the air. We’re gonna need that edge when we take on the Institute. They’ve already proven that they’re technologically superior, which means that there’s no telling what types of weapons they’ll have in their arsenal. Hopefully, our air superiority and tactical know-how will make a difference. Now all we have to do is find them…”_  
Danse’s words from earlier in the day rang through her mind. He was right. The Commonwealth was a war zone. How was she going to find Shaun in all this mess? And even if she did, how was she going to get him away from the Institute? Her eyes burned at the thought and Lillian wiped at her face. Her hand came away wet.   
“Ahem.”  
Lillian snapped back to Danse who was now watching her carefully.  
“Soldier, I- Harper, this is strictly off the record, but I wanted to ask… I mean, would it be alright if I asked-” Danse cleared his throat again, “You appear to be different from when we first met. You denied my offer of joining the Brotherhood the first time, citing that you had another priority. I can’t help but wonder if your current mood is related to what transpired between then and now.”  
Lillian wiped her face and stared at her hand gripping the railing in front of them, her knuckles turning white. _I should tell him_, she thought, _he took me in, he deserves that much_.  
“I, uh, have a confession to make.” Now it was Lillian’s turn to clear her throat, “I didn’t join the Brotherhood for ideological reasons.”  
“Few do. I initially joined because it was better than selling scrap on a junk stand. However, I’m confident that you’ll learn to embrace the Brotherhood’s ideals.”  
Lillian wasn’t so sure about that. Maxson came across as a child wanting to play war and he seemed a little too willing to sacrifice others to achieve that. But perhaps she was wrong too, at least; for now she had little issue with killing ferals and mutants. In a lot of ways, it seemed almost kind. Afterall, had she become a feral or a super mutant a swift bullet to the head would be her choice.   
“When we met, I told you that I was from a vault near Sanctuary Hills. What I didn’t tell you was that my family and I were cryogenically frozen for over two hundred years.”  
Danse blinked at her, his mouth agape.  
“I apologise, but I- I don’t understand. Are you saying you were alive _before_ the War?”  
“Yes. Ten years ago, we were woken up only for my husband to be murdered and my baby boy to be kidnapped. I was refrozen and only woke up a few months ago.”  
Lillian found herself brushing past the incident. If she said it quickly maybe she could avoid reopening the wounds.  
“When you asked me to join the first time, my only lead was Diamond City. But I found the man who kidnapped him and my son… he’s- he’s…”  
Lillian tried to choke out the words but they wouldn’t come out. Saying it aloud would make it real and she wasn’t sure if she could take that. Lillian took a deep breath. She had to manage at least this.  
“He’s with the Institute.”  
Danse stared at her wide-eyed, but his shock quickly turned to something much darker.   
“I’m sorry,” he offered gently.  
Lillian shrugged and turned away. She couldn’t keep looking at him while more tears threatened to fall. Once again, she stared out across the Commonwealth, fixating on Trinity Tower. Tall and proud despite its dilapidated structure, it stood out against the backdrop of the city. Lillian vaguely remembered hearing a distress signal when she’d gone past it.   
“What about you? Something must be keeping you awake, too, Paladin?”  
She kept her voice light, she may have chosen to share her burden with Danse, but that didn’t mean he was required to reciprocate. But it also didn’t mean that she wasn’t curious. Everyone had lost something - or more likely, someone - in this world.   
“No.”  
“No?”  
“It’s not about me tonight.”  
A heavy hand clasped her shoulder. Lillian looked at Danse. The hard look in his eyes had returned.  
“Harper, no matter what, I’m confident that the Brotherhood will find the Institute and we _will_ save your son. I promise.”  
And just like that, for the first time since she’d woken up in this godforsaken wasteland, Lillain felt the spark.  
Hope.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! This is intended to be a multi-chaptered fic, but I will warn you now that I work and study full time so I can't guarantee a regular upload schedule. That being said, I will absolutely try to upload regularly. Feedback is highly appreciated and I would especially love it if you left a comment with your thoughts! 
> 
> Feel free to follow me on Tumblr: ms.danse.tumblr.com


End file.
